Little Wins

Ok, so let me just start this one off by admitting that I am a HUGE emotional wreck today. My hubby left us again this early a.m. for another week. My kids got up at 5:00 a.m. shortly after he left. I could not sleep all night because I kept THINKING about him leaving in the early a.m. I only have 2 more Saturdays and 1 Sunday with him before he leaves again for another 11 weeks. My house is a massive wreck. I lost my wedding ring. I gained back 2 lbs. AND it is that time of the month - which is why I am sure the emotional fiasco is well displayed. So, i am writing this now before I update everything else, or I will forget the wonderful reminder of the Lord's tender mercies.

So, Sundays are always bad days. My boys are so rambunctious and I will throw everything I have at them to try and keep them still for even a second in sacrament meeting. Brett has been with us for the last 2 Sundays, and will also be here next Sunday - so they are a little more bearable with a have someone to help tag team them with me. Any who, I had to lead a choir number and before I even went up there, i had managed to snag my pantie hose. Cason had a melt down 2 seconds before I went up and I had drool down my backside and also crayon mark where Cason had been stuffing crayons under my but on the bench. So, I am sure I looked wonderful in front of everyone who, because I am the choir director, gets a nice view of my butt-x. I had also forgotten my wedding ring. I thought I had taken it off in Adalie's bathroom, because I usually do when I fix her hair. That way the gel doesn't get stuck in my ring and get it all sticky. So when I looked down, i really didn't think too much of it not being there because I have done that before - left it on the bathroom counter. We got home from church, and it always gets so super busy and hectic the moment we walk in. It's 4:30. Church clothes are quickly shed and ALL over the house.  The kids are whiny for a snack. We are trying to get dinner going. The football game is starting, but the kids want a cartoon. We let them have a movie, but now they fight about which one it will be. Still trying to get dinner going, and while in the process there is all kinds of food and utensils all over the counters and floors. Brody is extra clingy and tired because he only slept for an hour before he had to wake up for church. I had a HUGE headache and it is creeping back even now just thinking about the day yesterday.....it was just so, so much crud that didn't really go away when I woke up. Dinner was still on the counter and the floors. Church clothes still on the floor. Baskets upon baskets of clothes needing to be folded. Dirty dishes everywhere. Still whiny children because they decided to wake up at 5 and 5:30. Left over remnants of Brett getting ready to leave the house. AND i realized i had never found my wedding rings...and here is where the story serves the purpose for me and I quit whining myself.

I went into the bathroom expecting it to be on the counter. Wasn't there. I was a little worried, but not too much because even if Cason had played with it or moved it it had probably just fallen on the floor. Looked there too...nothing. Sometimes, I also leave it by my bed stand where i put my lotion on. So i took a quick look there too....nothing there either. Then I started having thoughts of Cason trying to maybe "clean it" in the sink and it falling down the drain. Or maybe he had the urge to flush it?? Start panic mode. Grabbing a flash light to look down the drains. Tearing up every room thinking maybe it fell off somewhere...then I get a flash of a memory and i knew EXACTLY what had happened to my rings, although NOT good news. While driving in the car on the way to church, I opened the glove compartment where i keep some extra lotion, took my rings off and set them in my lap. After putting the lotion on though, I never put my rings back on. I got out of the car and unloaded children with them still in my lap. Which, thanks to gravity of course, they fell off as soon as a stood up and I never even noticed. So after being out all morning with the boys running errands and grocery shopping, I made them climbed in the car while i begged and pleaded with the Lord to help me find my ring. I was headed to the church thinking maybe someone had found it and put it in the lost and found? Maybe by some miracle it was in the grass where we had parked?? Just hoping, and balling my eyes out, the whole way there. So I park close to where i think we were on Sunday and start walking around. After about 15 mins, I find my band. I am happy, but it is only a cheap band I wear with my engagement ring because my real one has broken and sits in my jewelery box at home - so I am not THAT happy. It's my engagement ring i would really like to find. After walking over the same spot 50 million times (i kid you not) i finally see a glimmer of something in the middle of the parking lot about 10 ft away. IT IS MY RING!! I broke down. Sobbing on my knees in that parking lot, with my boys yelling at me through their car windows that they want out!! I get back into the car and Cason is asking why and I am laughing and crying at the same time, and doesn't quite get the explanation of "i am happy".

So point of the long, drawn out story?? I am so incredibly thankful for the Lord and the way he cares, even about my trivial things that probably have nothing to do with my spiritual progression. The little wins he lets me have. Like my kids sleeping in an extra half hour from time to time. The stain finally coming out of a shirt I have washed a million times. The right lid to my dinner pot that it took forever to find. The chocolate milk spill that came out of my new couch. Brody throwing my new galaxy note across the room and the screen not cracking. Finding that cricket in my bathroom that has kept me awake nights upon nights with it's ear-piercing chirping. Helping me find my wedding ring, that not because it is the most expensive thing in the world and i would have been upset to lose that much money in something, but because it has so much more meaning behind it than that for me. Things like this really remind me that He is very aware of me and my situation and does not forget me in HIS prayers either. He is always on my side and will always take the time to remind me of that.

Anywho, my emotional wreck of a day or two has turned into be a very, very grateful day. Although my house is still a wreck, I have absolutely no energy to do a single thing, and my kids are still incredibly whiny -- that's just life right now and today I have turned out to be ok with it!

Hello Again Folks!

Yes, yes I know, super bad blogger forever. Busy summer. Lost computer cord. Single parenting. All have played a role in blogging NOT being a top priority of life at the moment. HOWEVER, it is time to catch up on the B and L Sorensen household as of late. So, lets see...

We started off the summer in good ole' Utah for Brett's first clerkship rotation. My wonderful sister and brother in law were kind enough to let us invade their space for a whole month so that we could be with Brett for a bit longer before we lost him for a bit. We had LOTS of fun and I had so much help with the kiddos from everyone. I know we were hard to live with, even if they will not admit it out loud =). We got to see cousins!

 

I got to hang out with my sister a bit. Went to the zoo. Brett took the kids fishing. went to a water park. Temple with my hubby. Cheap babysitting for dates, and a trip to My FAVORITE restaurant for my favorite food!!

Tikki Masala!! YUUMMMYY!!

 



One of our last weekends with Brett, we took the kids to good ole' Cherry Hill for some fun in the sun! Favorite part of everyone's? The dragon slide. Because they would even let little Brody go down with us on our laps and Adalie felt like the ultimate big kids getting to do the slides by herself.

I held Brody almost the entire time on my left hip that he left his little hand print on my left due to sunburn =)

Took the kids to a jump zone! they LOVED it! A whole hour of entertainment for 10$ a kid. Not sure if I will do it again but it was a fun thing to cross off our bucket list!

 

Anywho, I have about a million pictures to share of our summer, so my plan is to get them all uploaded and just sorta do a picture post to catch you up on life. Here are a few that I have so far. Also there will probably be random day to day post in there too. I am just going to pretend I am good at blogging again...

ENJOY!

I have been spending forever getting caught up on all of yours!

Going private...leave me you e mail if you wanna be apart of this party!

Its been a long time my friend...

I know, its been a while. And for those two or three people that still might check out my blog from time to time i apologize...I have been very selfish with my time and efforts elsewhere. You see, my hubby has been getting ready to leave us for a bit on his clinic rotation for his 4th yr in the DPM program at Des Moines University. So, sitting in front of a computer screen has not been my top priority.

Brett left this past Sunday, early in the a.m. for Phoenix AZ. We all got up to say our goodbyes, and i tried really really hard to hold back the tears and did pretty ok, Until he had to turn around because he forgot something and we all had to say goodbye again. We LOST it....well mostly me, but tears were very much shed. I am pretty sure I have cried every night since he has left. I do not know how other people do it. I mean, I am a huge cry baby and super dependent and madly in love with my husband and him being away is killin me. So i will go through my "woe is me" stage for a good week or two and hopefully get better at not feeling sorry for myself. Kudos to those of you who can do it. I know I am not sending him to the front lines or even out of this country or in harms way - but I am still going to miss my husband terribly. It's just been us for so long - no family too near since we met and married. He has become my absolute best Friend and confidant. The longest we have ever been apart before this is about 3, maybe 4 days - so please excuse my whining for not getting to see him for the next 5 mths. I get it - there are worse thing in this world and you may have more to complain about than me or you might want to scream at me to "get over it", to you I say - to each their own and its my party I will cry if i want to.

Adalie has been very sweet in lettin me know that everything will be ok. She misses him very much, but she really is one strong and sweet little girl. I think she knows how much her daddy and I love each other, and how much he loves his kiddos, and reassures me quite often that we can do it. She said to me the other day while cuddling with me "mommy maybe it will be a good thing that daddy is gone. we can get closer and spend a lot of girl time together - and i get to sleep in your bed with you!" I have an extremely hard time sleeping alone so I told her she could sleep in daddy's spot while he was gone. She is very excited about this. It will be interesting as she is quite the bed hog and cover stealer - a lot like her daddy i suppose so maybe it wont be too hard to get used to =)

Cason I am sure doesn't quite get it. He has made it into my bed every night sense Brett has gone and expects to see Brett there and is highly disappointed he is not. He gets into bed with me and snuggles up and has asked the same question all three night "Daddy sleeps in Arizona?" Yes bubba, daddy is sleeping in Arizona. He is one big daddy's boy and I think he is going to have the hardest time with him gone.

Brody of course is oblivious. What 16 mth old wouldn't be? But he gets super excited to hear Brett on the phone or see his picture. He gets a big smile on his face and says "Daddy!" So, I know in his own little 1 yr old mind he misses him too.

So- This is to be my pity party post. Woe is me and everyone should feel sorry for me for a moment. Shed a tear or two for me. I am entitled to complain for a moment or two -- so let me.

I will post about happier things tomorrow

Days 2 and 3 of solitude

Saturday I basically did nothing really. Zip. Zilch. Nada!! I woke up at 11 a.m. Thats right, i slept in like a teenager...haven't done that in years. i was up most of the night however on and off due to my own paranoia of all the things that could go wrong in a hotel room by myself. Brett did however come to visit thank to some wonderful friends who offered to watch the kids for a few hours. And he came baring gifts!! Since i am not home for Mother's day, the kids gave me my presents yesterday. I was so spoiled...Brett is always a wonderful gift giver. And the flowers def brighten up my shabby little hotel room. Brett also brought me cooper for company. Brett couldn't be here for long and i couldn't even hug him so that kind of stinks. i did skype with him and the kiddos again Saturday night and it makes me feel better. I spent the rest of the night watching eureka and throwing up. No fun there. Stay away from the trash can - my vomit is radioactive.

This morning I saw Brett for about an hour before he bravely took the kids to church alone. Then after a shower that actually lasted longer than five minutes, I took my new bike (my mother's day surprise) for a mile and a half ride down the road to target. I told myself i would take my time since i really had nothing or no one to get back to in a rush, but i am so used to the last 5 yrs of shopping with children that i still got through everything i wanted to see or get in about 30 mins. And that was stretching it. Sheesh. Came home (hotel home). Ate my stuffed digorno microwave pizza and red velvet cookie I bought for myself. Took Copper for a walk. Came home and scrap-booked a few pages while watching a snapped marathon on oxygen. Now I am eating my sushi and catching up on blogging. My big plans for tonight -- talk to my kiddos and hubby, probably eat another cookie, take a hot bath, more eureka with Brett (its a netfilx show dirty thinkers ..tsk tsk), read my book, snuggle with cooper, and eventually force myself to sleep. Brett brought up a good point - I had the perfect mothers day - plenty of relaxing time and i didn't change a dirty diaper all day. HOWEVER - i do still miss my kiddos and my husband very, very much.

p.s. this sushi is super gross.

Quarantined Chronicles

So, it is Day 1 of my confinement adventure. This morning I said goodbye to my Adalie as I drove her to school and also to my boys when i dropped them off with a wonderful friend so i could head out to start the iodine radiation. Brett drove me down to the hospital where they took a few blood test and went over the fine lines of my NOT to do list. Can't love on my hubby for at least 3 days. No kiddos and pregnant women (which is basically everyone I know) for 7. Flush the toilet 3 times after each use. Wash your hand every 30 mins. Don't sweat on people or lick them either...Keep your fluids to yourself -you know-just your basic hygiene necessities upped a little for the next week. THEN after the warnings, the tech walks in with a 50lbs tungsten container, drops it onto the table with an extremely loud thug, and screws open the lid with his gloved fingers to hand me a tiny glass tube with a small white pill at the bottom. i have to swallow it fast and not touch it with anything but my mouth to contain the radiation to only me as much as possible. It felt and tasted like I swallowed a quarter. The lab technician takes this little instrument called "cutie pie" (no joke) to check my radiation level and it shows I am at a 23...anything under 38 and they can legally send me on my way. So they quickly send me out the door....very, very quickly. We still have almost 2 hours before I can check into my prison cell hotel room, so Brett takes me to get some last minute freezer foods for dinners for the next little while.

I am all checked in and it was so sad i could not even hug my hubby goodbye. I have been by myself for about 3 hours and i am amazed by the silence already. I have already finished a coke, some sushi, and a bag of spicy pork skins. i have been sucking on hard candies to keep the saliva moving around in my mouth so i do not kill my taste buds with my own spit. I am feeling nauseous and i feel like if i put my head down on a pillow i wouldn't wake up until Tuesday.

So what are my plans during quarantine? I brought scrap booking stuff, some books, lots of snacks, and i have lots of time to catch up on some netflix Oh and blogging-- lots and lots of blogging to do. I DO want to say thank you though to everyone for all the help and support...everyone has been so wonderful. Don't worry about me - i will be fine and back to normal in no time. The hardest part is being away from my hubby and kiddos for a bit - but it could be much, much worse and I am so grateful and blessed that its not. I will take it =)