Can't Help It

I can't help but be a little disappointed that baby isn't here yet. Not so much for the fact that I am wanting to start the newborn care stage, but because I have been thinking of all the stuff that has happened during this pregnancy that would make me think he would already be here. Like a big one, not being able to go to Co and TX at Christmas time because he gave my Dr a scare about traveling. I am absolutely thrilled nothing happened then and that he seems healthy and ok in there now, but it does put a damper on my nerves thinking he might be late. lol. Also, like I have said before, the hurt. Ugh. All the hurt so far but no baby. I really don't want it to feel worse than it has, these past few days especially. He will be here in less than 2 weeks which really isn't that long to wait at all, I am just growing impatient. LoL I am SO wishy washy and can never make up my mind at what I really want. One second I will be sitting on the couch and just hoping my water will break and things will be over with. The next I am begging him to wait until the 19th because I have thought of things that I need to do or get done or I get very nervous and stressed. Viscous cycle. One thing I do know though is I am NOT good at being pregnant and definitely NOT good at waiting.